::MY THANK YOUS ::

11.01 - I am writing this to document what I feel thankful for. I have gone through many horrible experiences and through those experiences, I have learned to take something from each of them. Since I was young, I have been through many things that I sometimes wish never happened. I have been suicidal and have wished I never was born. I know now that I'm not as weak as I thought myself to be. I have always tried to be the backbone for my mother. I try to be the strong one in the family situations and not get too emotional when necessary, but alone, I cry. I am thankful that I never let these times get the best of me. I'm thankful that I never slipped into a numb-filled void of self-loathing and regret. I have seen death many times and have probably been pretty close to it without me knowing. I am thankful that I got out of "the game" before any uneraseable events occurred. I have endured depression many times, as I'm sure you have, but have learned to deal with it and control it. I am thankful that I didn't know anyone personally who died in the world trade center. I am thankful that me and my boyfriend got home safely.

I now know that I am someone that is important and can influence many people's lives. I am a woman that can give life to a human being and for that simple gift, I'm thankful. I am thankful that GOD hears me when I cry and whine about insignificant events. I know he/she hears because I have always gotten an answer, even if it wasn't the one I expected or wanted. I'm thankful that my mother didn't give up on raising me and my sister. We have given her alot of grief and I now know all the stupidity I indulged in. I tell her I'm sorry in many ways. I am thankful that I am strong enough to forgive my father for many things. I'm thankful for my family. Even though I don't tell them, I hope they know that I am there for ALL of them, regardless of how close we are. I am thankful for my little sister. She has helped me stay stay young-minded and happy. I'm thankful that I have had mentors that have help me stay grounded and focused on the path that I need to take. My boyfriend has helped me find love and un-circumstantial friendship. We can argue and make up in less than ten minutes, and not even hold a grudge. He has been with me through many of my "dark" times but has endured then with me. Thank you. I am proud to be a latina. I am thankful that I have seen my beautiful culture in many beautiful people. I am thankful for the friends that I have known, and are now in my life.

Cilla...