These jokes were found through the internet and books. No, I'm not that creative. Some are corny, some are hilarious but either way you'll get a laugh out of this page. If you are insulted, offended, impregnated, influenced, and/or nauseated easily then this page is better suitedto you. This page contains tasteless, unaduterated images and language so if you think you can't handle it, bounce! If you have a joke you'd like to submit, just email me amd I'll add it with credit to you. No ethnic jokes please. Enjoy.
What's the ultimate rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
What's this? (make a fist and kiss each of the knuckles)
Foreplay before mastubation.
What do a cobra and a two inch cock have in common?
No one wants to fuck either of them.
Why is a dick like a Rubik's Cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why shouldn't you suck a twelve-inch dick?
You could get foot-in-mouth disease.
What's the difference between light and hard?
1. It's light all day.
2. You can sleep with a light on.
What's the differnece between a snowman and a snowwoman?
What can lifesavors do that a man can't?
Cum in five different colors.
What's the definition of macho?
Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
What are the five worst things about being a penis?
--you have a hole in your head.
--you have permanent ring-around-the-collar.
--your next door neighbors are two nuts and an asshole.
--your best friend is a cunt.
--everytime you get excited, you throw up.
Why did GOD give women nipples?
To make suckers out of men.
Why are clams like women?
When the red tide comes in, you don't eat them.
I've got a joke so funny it'll make your breasts fall off: Oh...I see you've already heard it.
What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do you do when your Kotex cathes fire?
Throw it on the floor and tampon it.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What do fat girls and mopeds have in common?
They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you.
What's the difference between a job and a wife?
The job still sucks.
How are an oven and a woman alike?
You have to get them both hot before you can stick your meat in.
What's the purpose of a bellybutton?
To put your gum in on the way down.
Ten Times in History when the "F" Word was Acceptable:
10. "What the FUCK was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima - August 1945
9. "Where the FUCK did all these indians come from?" - Custer 1877
8. "Any fucking idiot could understand that!" - Einstein 1938
7. "It does SO fucking look like her!" - Picasso 1926
6. "How the FUCK did you work that out?" - Pythagoras 126 BC
5. "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo 1566
4. "I don't suppose it's gonna fucking rain." - Joan of Arc 1434
3. "Scattered fucking showers...my ass!" - Noah 314 BC
2. "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head!" - JFK 1963
1. "Aw c'mon, who the fuck is gonna find out?" - Clinton 1997